Anyway, since I've been thinking about this subject ever since she asked me, I thought I'd write it down. This is pretty self-serving as well because I've been feeling down for the past couple of days.
What To Do When You're Sad
- Let yourself feel sad. My sister once called me a pressure cooker. I was telling her about a problem I was having at the office and she told me that I tend to keep things inside until I can't contain them anymore. I suppose that's true. For the past few years I've made a habit of brushing things off just so my feelings won't get hurt. It's effective, I think, but I guess there's a limit. In the end, the pent up irritations/hurt/anger that I felt about an issue at the office was set off by a small incident that could've easily been ignored. With that in mind, I think that if you feel sad, just let yourself feel sad. Instead of talking yourself out of it by telling yourself that you shouldn't feel sad over something, or that you're letting yourself appear weak by giving in to your feelings, allow yourself to just let it out. Give yourself a couple of days to think about things and to feel what you're actually feeling. It doesn't make you any less of a person if you feel sad over something or someone.
- Write it out. If crying it out isn't enough of a cathartic experience, maybe writing about it will. Write for yourself, write to get things off your chest, write to let yourself feel free. As cliche-sounding and cheesy as that is, it seems to work, at least for me. Another friend of mine said that she writes down all the bad stuff she feels on a piece of paper and burns them. Whatever works, as long as you are able to express yourself. Think of it this way, if you write it out, you won't be able to hurt anyone else with your words or thoughts.
- Talk to somebody about it. If writing doesn't work and the heavy weight still feels like a boulder on your back, find a friend who you can talk to comfortably and you know won't judge you. Even if talking to that person doesn't end with a solution to your problems, at least the heaviness that you feel regarding them will lessen. Just don't depend on that person to be available to listen to you all the time. This person is your friend, not a private, on-call therapist.
- Distraction, distraction, dis...what? One of the reasons why I love YouTube is that it provides me access to all of the funniest, stupidest, most entertaining, thought provoking, helpful, useless videos that I want. Aside from YouTube and streaming video, I read books, surf the internet, do a movie marathon, talk to friends, spend time with my family, return to an old hobby or think about other stuff that I neglected to address because I was so messed up. Do whatever you like. The point is that you should allow yourself a moment's reprieve from feeling like crap, even if it's just for a little while.
- Eat something delicious. Doesn't have to be a gourmet dinner from an expensive restaurant. Just eat something that you like. If it costs a little more than usual, indulge yourself. You've been in an emotional washing machine for the past few days, you deserve to eat something amazing after having your feelings throttled around on spin dry. Just remember: moderation is key.
- Smile like you mean it. I read somewhere that you can trick your mind into thinking that you're happy when you smile. It kind of comes off as "emo kid" thing to say but it's worth a try. So smile. You don't have to mean it all the time. Smile because you have to. :) (Speaking of which, I should really get into the habit of putting emoticons when I text message...I must sound like the dead when people read my texts...)
One thing that I have learned from the times when I felt sad is this: there will inevitably come a day when you'll wake up one morning and feel better than the last. And when you wake up that way one morning, you can choose to be sick of being sad or bury yourself back into the covers and go on being sad. One thing you have to realize is that being sad over a thing or a person won't change anything. It certainly won't make time stop. Time will pass regardless of whether you're happy or sad, that's just the way it is. Might as well make the time worthwhile.
