It’s not an uncommon occurrence for me to feel a
teensy-weensy bit jealous of a curvy girl when I see one because of one main
thing: boobs. No, I don’t want them in the way hot-blooded men want breasts. I
actually want to have them. Because I
have none.
I’ve spend many years feeling frustrated because my
so-called “normal body parts” never seemed to fully arrive while all the other
girls’ did and more. Imagine being a teenager and unable to properly fill out your clothes the
way you want them to! It’s a tragedy! Sadly, my signs of fertility and
womanhood were small signs, and they remain to be small to this day. It
actually makes me want to chant “I must, I must increase my bust!” while doing
the exercise my mother taught me right now. Unfortunately, the die is cast. But
instead of griping about my lack of, uh, lady lumps every time I look at the
mirror (I keep it down to a few times every few months now), I’ve decided to
practice a little act of self-love and embrace my little girls by thinking of
reasons why being a cup size A isn’t so bad. Surprisingly, there were a lot
more than I thought, which is a good thing.
BRALESS UNLIMITED! For small girls, you can easily skip out
on wearing a bra and, more likely than not, people wouldn’t notice. Who cares
if you’re without a bra while wearing that sundress? Being small in the boob
department gives you that freedom without looking like you have sandbags going
wild inside your shirt as you walk.
RUN LIKE THE WIND. Nope, no dead weight bouncing around and
holding you down. As the rules of physics state, “What goes up must come down.”
Since there’s not much going up…you get the picture. In fact, wasn’t it said
that the heavier the object, the quicker the fall? Ouch! So sprint on, sister!
Plus, movement is free! Perfect for kitikiti
me!
HUNCHBACK OF NONE-TRE DAME. One perk of being small is a
strain-free back. With your rack weighing next to nothing compared to all the
other girls, you can go about your daily life never knowing the pains of a back
carrying heavy weight. Having big boobs is like being a turtle, only reverse.
And you don’t live in your boobs.
FASHION FREEDOM. The good thing about being on the smaller
side is that you can wear practically anything and not look like you’ve stepped
out of a Playboy centerfold. Unless, you know, that’s what you’re aiming for.
But anyway, low cut shirts make a snug home for your girls as opposed to double
D’s that look like they want to jump out of a chokehold and scream a la William
Wallace in Braveheart. “Freedooooom!”
THE APPLES DON’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE. The apples being
your boobs and the tree being your body. Just to be clear on the analogy.
Right. Yay for minimal boob saggage (yay for making up words)! Unlike our
gifted sisters, your boobs won’t slowly migrate to the equator when the time
for retirement comes around, which means that you have slim to none chances of
throwing your breasts over your shoulder when you become a lovable lola. I might be exaggerating just a
bit. But it could happen, just saying.
MY EYES ARE ON MY FACE. Like,
for real. When people talk to me, their eyes will be on my eyes instead of
sinking to my chest because, guess what? I don’t really have one! Girls like me
won’t have to experience the whole clichéd “Boy, my eyes are up here” moment,
which can be read by some women as rude and objectifying. I’d say that in my
case, if they were looking down there
intently, they might just be trying to locate where my boobs are. Like hidden
treasure! Ooooh.
The point, sisters in
booblessness, is that belonging to the smallest cup size in the lingerie
department isn’t all that bad. You won’t think that when you watch the
Victoria’s Secret fashion show when leggy models sport cleavages that are
popped up to the maximum and look like goddesses, of course. (How can they be
that skinny and have big boobs, anyway?) But the rest of the time, try to
remember the benefits of having your pair smaller than the rest. It will do you
some good. Not to mention save you from getting an expensive boob job that you
may or may not regret.
Stay proud. Stay perky. Because your boobs will.
1 comment:
It doesn't matter how much an object weights, 17 tons or 1 gram. All objects fall at the same rate in a vacuum.
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