Why Being Cup Size A is A-Okay

It’s not an uncommon occurrence for me to feel a teensy-weensy bit jealous of a curvy girl when I see one because of one main thing: boobs. No, I don’t want them in the way hot-blooded men want breasts. I actually want to have them. Because I have none.

I’ve spend many years feeling frustrated because my so-called “normal body parts” never seemed to fully arrive while all the other girls’ did and more. Imagine being a teenager and  unable to properly fill out your clothes the way you want them to! It’s a tragedy! Sadly, my signs of fertility and womanhood were small signs, and they remain to be small to this day. It actually makes me want to chant “I must, I must increase my bust!” while doing the exercise my mother taught me right now. Unfortunately, the die is cast. But instead of griping about my lack of, uh, lady lumps every time I look at the mirror (I keep it down to a few times every few months now), I’ve decided to practice a little act of self-love and embrace my little girls by thinking of reasons why being a cup size A isn’t so bad. Surprisingly, there were a lot more than I thought, which is a good thing.

BRALESS UNLIMITED! For small girls, you can easily skip out on wearing a bra and, more likely than not, people wouldn’t notice. Who cares if you’re without a bra while wearing that sundress? Being small in the boob department gives you that freedom without looking like you have sandbags going wild inside your shirt as you walk.

RUN LIKE THE WIND. Nope, no dead weight bouncing around and holding you down. As the rules of physics state, “What goes up must come down.” Since there’s not much going up…you get the picture. In fact, wasn’t it said that the heavier the object, the quicker the fall? Ouch! So sprint on, sister! Plus, movement is free! Perfect for kitikiti me!

HUNCHBACK OF NONE-TRE DAME. One perk of being small is a strain-free back. With your rack weighing next to nothing compared to all the other girls, you can go about your daily life never knowing the pains of a back carrying heavy weight. Having big boobs is like being a turtle, only reverse. And you don’t live in your boobs.

FASHION FREEDOM. The good thing about being on the smaller side is that you can wear practically anything and not look like you’ve stepped out of a Playboy centerfold. Unless, you know, that’s what you’re aiming for. But anyway, low cut shirts make a snug home for your girls as opposed to double D’s that look like they want to jump out of a chokehold and scream a la William Wallace in Braveheart. “Freedooooom!”

THE APPLES DON’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE. The apples being your boobs and the tree being your body. Just to be clear on the analogy. Right. Yay for minimal boob saggage (yay for making up words)! Unlike our gifted sisters, your boobs won’t slowly migrate to the equator when the time for retirement comes around, which means that you have slim to none chances of throwing your breasts over your shoulder when you become a lovable lola. I might be exaggerating just a bit. But it could happen, just saying.

MY EYES ARE ON MY FACE. Like, for real. When people talk to me, their eyes will be on my eyes instead of sinking to my chest because, guess what? I don’t really have one! Girls like me won’t have to experience the whole clichéd “Boy, my eyes are up here” moment, which can be read by some women as rude and objectifying. I’d say that in my case, if they were looking down there intently, they might just be trying to locate where my boobs are. Like hidden treasure! Ooooh.

The point, sisters in booblessness, is that belonging to the smallest cup size in the lingerie department isn’t all that bad. You won’t think that when you watch the Victoria’s Secret fashion show when leggy models sport cleavages that are popped up to the maximum and look like goddesses, of course. (How can they be that skinny and have big boobs, anyway?) But the rest of the time, try to remember the benefits of having your pair smaller than the rest. It will do you some good. Not to mention save you from getting an expensive boob job that you may or may not regret.

Stay proud. Stay perky. Because your boobs will.