Rejection Therapy

I've been thinking about Rejection Therapy a lot for the past few days. Yes, there is such a thing as Rejection Therapy. It's a self-help game developed by some dude named Jason Comely. Yes, it's supposed to help you be more self-confident.

My friend Kat told me about it last Sunday after we spent a day hanging out. Basically, the gist of this thing is that in order to improve self-confidence and get rid of a fear of rejection, one has to constantly put themselves in a position where they will be rejected. That way, after countless rejections, a person will get used to the feeling rejection brings and they won't be scared of it. Forced exposure, Wikipedia says. Flooding, psychology says.

So basically, it's a vaccine for your emotional white blood cells. It totally prescribes to the old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and makes me believe that you really can get used to anything.

The rule for this game is simple: get rejected at least once a day. By rejection, it means getting out of your comfort zone and then getting a negative response to whatever you say. The point is to make yourself vulnerable. There's a guy who keeps a blog to record all his rejections. Check it out here.

This game is a little weird. And probably the most terrifying one if you choose to participate. Does it really take that much rejection to be desensitized?

...Yes.

With that in mind, I've been thinking about doing something like this myself. Not everyday, though. I don't think my heart can take that much rejection a day. Maybe do something or ask something of people that I know will get me a "no". I don't know...still thinking about it.

fighting off sickness and boredom

Greetings, nameless random people who read this blog. It's taken me quite a while to get around to updating this blog of mine that doesn't really get read by anyone I know. Between the intermittent internet connection I get here at home and my much busier hours at work, I couldn't seem to find an opportunity to write a blog post to welcome the new year. It took me a month, but welcome to my life, Year 2013.

I'm feeling ill right now so I'll take this as an opportunity to actually sit down and write a blog post, no matter how trivial it may be. It's kind of sad to be sick and not have much company except for the TV and the computer. They're not bad company at all, but with most of my family gone to work and I'm confined in the room for bed rest, it kind of gets lonely and boring. This is a strange notion because every time things get a little too busy, all I want is a day spent doing nothing. The grass is always greener on the other side, huh?

So here I am munching on some little fuji apples (because they're the only thing I can probably eat right now) and fighting off boredom.

So, how are you, nameless reader? How's your year so far? Mine has been satisfactory, but it can always be better. Do you have a date for V-day? Lucky you, then. People who have dates on V-day are lucky people, I think. But that's just me. I hope your dates go well and as planned. For those who don't have dates, may we be patient until we finally get our turns! Cheers!

This blog post isn't really going anywhere. I just wanted to post something to keep this thing alive and hopefully fuel me to write better (and more interesting) posts in the future. Til next time!

All I Want For Christmas

It's a little late for a Christmas wishlist, I suppose. But I'm making one anyway.

To me, a Christmas wishlist is a list of things that I want but don't really need. When I make a Christmas list, I pretty much end up writing an array of objects that are too expensive for anyone to buy for another person. So instead of waiting for a miracle to happen and someone outside of my family buys it for me (we're not really big on presents, my family), I just wait until I can afford it and just buy it for myself (like electronic accessories or designer clothes). Kind of sad, but as my mantra goes: if no one will buy it for your, buy it for yourself.

So here's my list of things that I really want but don't need. Some are harder to fulfill than others, but that's okay. That's the point of it being a wishlist.

1. Moleskine 2013 Le Petit Prince Weekly Planner and Notes

I love The Little Prince. It's thought provoking and it taught me a lot about life. I like Moleskines. They look simple, the paper is nice, I can draw on it with pens and the ink doesn't bleed into other pages, and it's easy to bring around. Combining The Little Prince and Moleskine together brings forth a product that I find impossible not to want. I want this. I want this with a passion.

2. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes always make me laugh. I've never been able to read a whole lot of the comic strips, but everytime I read one I always laugh. I can imagine how much fun I'd have if I had the entire collection. I imagine that it would be something that I'd need during a particularly bad day. 

3. Speedball Tabletop Pottery Wheel

Pottery is like everything else you learn to do with your body. If you're out of practice long enough, you're back to square one. I keep going back to square one after a few weeks away from the pottery wheel, so having a tabletop wheel would help me practice more. I can actually see it now. Me leaned over a ball of clay with my hands gripping and molding and digging. Me switching it on when I need to stop thinking about things that I think too much about. Me making something that I'm proud of...

I really want this for Christmas.  

4. Otterbox for Samsung Galaxy SII

Because I want to protect the most expensive phone I bought for the next, say, four years.

5. Ray-Ban Aviator Sunglasses

This has been on my wishlist for about 3 years now. Maybe longer. Because they just look so darn cool. However, there are about a million other pairs of sunglasses that I can buy without burning a hole in my pocket so I've branded this as a want rather than a need. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind receiving a pair.

6. Macbook Pro

We are talking about wishes here. I've always been curious about Macs. Even though I do have a perfectly functional laptop (and thus do not need a Mac), I'm always open to the idea of owning one. Since I can't afford it, I can only wish that one day I get to own one. :)

I don't really believe in Santa. I don't even belong to a culture that believes in Santa. But I've been a really good girl. And if someone would want to be a Santa and fulfill my wishlist, go right ahead. I'm not stoppin' ya. :)

Pottery with John Pettyjohn

The start of the year 2012 was the beginning of my love affair with pottery. I told myself late last year that I wanted to try something new and thanks to my sister who showed me a website for pottery lessons in Manila, I found what I was looking for. I've been fascinated with pottery ever since. There's just something about making things by hand from start to finish. From kneading the clay, centering it and forming the shape on a wheel, and glazing them, making ceramics is a complete process of handmade creation. And there's kind of a therapeutic effect, too. My mind goes blank when I hear the whir of the electric wheel and it's strangely comforting, finding some quiet as I work with my hands. Maybe that's why I like it so much. But that's just me.

My teacher, Mia, has been successfully fanning the flames (that once started as a spark of interest) by taking us students to visit some of the great names in the Philippine pottery circle. Last May, we spent a day in Quezon to visit Ugu Bigyan. We had a wonderful time looking through his work and even got to watch him demonstrate throwing clay on the wheel. We also had a superb lunch that day.

Last weekend, we drove to Calamba, Laguna to visit the renowned potters Jon and Tessy Pettyjohn, the so-called Mom and Pop of Philippine pottery. The experience was a treat and even better than I expected because the couple was so hospitable and generous with their time and knowledge. Despite the fatigue and stress their bodies may have felt because they spent three days firing their works prior to our trip, they opened their home to us and shared all sorts of tips for us eager students. For that alone, I was already in awe.

We officially started out field trip by coming into their gallery and looking at the works they had on display. They were all beautiful and impeccably made, and the textures and glazes were something to sing praises about. I couldn't believe that I was where I was at that moment!

All sorts of colors and shapes were found in the gallery as well as around their home.

 
Some of Tessy's recent works are inspired by nature. In this case, corals. I had a huge question mark hanging over my head when I first saw these pieces. How do you make these?!

 Another piece that's worth special attention: a stoneware guitar! The intricacy of the details is outstanding.

There were so many things to look at, but my favorite ones were these ones here. I love the texture and the colors of the glazes they used.

We talked to the couple for a few minutes before Jon brought us to their studio where all the "magic" happens. There were a lot of things to see in there, as well. There were shelves and tables of unfinished pieces, swatches of glazes hanging over us (Jon said that some of them were over 30 years old!), as well as a giant lump of clay in one corner. We found the Pettyjohns' trusty assistant, Sammy, busily kneading clay in another corner as we picked up, felt and looked at the pottery waiting to be glazed and fired. Jon played tour guide and offered stories for some of the pieces that we found interesting.

Here are some more of Tessy's recent works sans the glazing.
A coral garden!

This one I found especially amusing. A shark that Jon made.
Pretty cool, huh?

Finally, we got to the most awaited moment of the trip, the demonstration. It was evident that people were as excited as I was because the moment Jon started gathering his tools and took a seat in front of his electric wheel, we all gathered around in a tight group to watch, our cameras poised and ready. Watching the forefather of Philippine pottery doing what he does best was amazing.

In a span of an hour, he demonstrated how to make teapot, a tea cup, a giant bowl, a vase and a pitcher. While he was making them, he shared some tips and tricks that we students found useful and helpful. 

Awesome. :)

After the demonstration, Jon took us to higher ground where their wood firing kiln is found. Wood firing kilns are different from those that are fueled by gas because the ash produced in a wood kiln melt into the glaze of the pots which gives them, I think, a more rustic and handmade appearance. The Pettyjohns' wood kiln, like their pottery, was made with their own hands. At the front of the kiln were a bowl of rice grains, some fruit, and a cup of whiskey. All four corners of the kiln also had cups of salt atop it. All of these are offerings to the gods of fire to protect the pots. With the level of uncertainty each firing has, pots can easily crack and explode when exposed to high heat, offerings are surely welcome. Whatever keeps the pots safe!

The tour pretty much ended with the wood firing kiln (which reminds me of a hobbit house for some reason hehe). After showing us where he likes to relax when he's not working (he loves playing billiards, apparently) and showing us a few more of his pieces that he values, two of whic are reserved for his daughters, we spend the rest of the visit eating lunch and just listening to his and Tessy's stories. He suggested that we visit some of the "tourist" spots in Laguna and even went with us to show the places for himself. Nice guy, huh?

I went home that day with a camera full of photos and videos, a tumbler I bought at a discounted price and an experience that I won't soon forget. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday, not bad at all.

Doomsday To-Do List

Let's start this off by pretending that we believe in the Mayan calendar. Now, since we believe in it, we consequently also believe that the end of the world is going to roll around in a month's time. Yup, the day that Incubus sang about is finally here. Please refer to a the lyrics of Incubus's "A Certain Shade of Green" and click on YouTube for the video of "Warning" by the same band. On a side note, I'd like to thank Brandon Boyd for introducing me to the Mayans during high school. You'd have thought that knowing about this day would be an advantage in terms of preparation but alas, here I am just as unprepared as ever. But the songs were inspirational in a Carpe Diem kind of way so that's good.

So. December 21, 2012. The day believed to be doomsday because the calendar belonging to an ancient civilization stopped at that particular date. Cynics had a field day discussing (making fun of) the accuracy of these claims by suggesting that maybe the Mayans just ran out of space on the slab of rock to carve on.

Which makes sense, too. Just because there's no calendar doesn't mean that time doesn't exist. But you can't shake off the feeling that maybe, just maybe, it could happen. Stranger things have happened, right? But anyway that'a not the point of this blog post. The point of this blog post is this: assuming that the world will end on December 21st, what are the top five things that you would do?

If I truly believed, in my heart of hearts, that the world we live in will go kaput in a month's time, here are some things that I could achieve within that time frame. None of those "climb Mt. so and so," this is a month we're talking about here. 

1. Spend time with people that I haven't seen in a long time.  Make an effort to reconnect with people that I haven't really talked to face to face because social media or cellphones have made us lazy to actually talk to someone. Seeing how a person smiles or fidgets or the sound of their laughter is far more welcomed than Skype meetings and choppy phone reception.

2. Go out on a date. If it's going to be my last, I'd want it to be really fun and enjoyable. The type of date you don't want to wrap up because you're having so much fun. That would be really nice. I haven't had one in a while. In my ideal world, I'd have no problem making this certain thing a reality. But this is real life. The only way I'd get a date is if I ask someone out (which I've never done before). And that's no guarantee either. I guess it would be alright...at least the embarrassment that I'd feel and my thoughts of being a loser because of the blatant rejection will be short lived.

3. Quit my job and spend my life savings on going to one or two great places and experience it to the fullest. As in, waldas. Initially I thought about giving my life savings to a charity of my choice, but then I realized that that was something that a person usually does when they die by themselves. Since I'd be dying with everyone and everything else, a charity won't have much use of the money. So I suppose that using my hard earned moolah whichever way I please is perfectly acceptable.

4. Not fight with any of my family. The worse thing that could happen at the end is letting someone you love feel like you don't love them. I know that I wouldn't want that. So I'd try to be more patient and understanding. Most importantly, I'd try to be more present in their lives. Same thing applies to friends.

5. Spend the rest of my days not giving a crap about what others think of me. Not a very easy task to do since I seem to be so apologetic over some things that I do as a person. This might mean that I would have little regard for how my actions will affect other people's thoughts and feelings. It's a little selfish, but some people do it on a daily basis, why can't I?

My five things are probably seem shallow in the eyes of others. And these things won't give me a truly happy and fulfilled life in a span of a month. But honestly, it's near impossible to cram in so much life learning and experiences in a short time. I imagine that yuppies like me would hardly feel some level of peace in their minds over the life that they lived so far. But to me, the things I've listed down are things that could make me feel at ease with things. At least when the world ends, I'd feel good about where I was at that particular time. I may not have found a lasting love, but at least I had a kick-ass date before I died. I may not have a perfect family or had a million friends like the others seem to have, but at least we were together til the end. You catch my drift? At least I'll like my life when I leave it. 

If Love* Comes Along

If love comes along, I wouldn't claim it as an object that were to be possessed and kept hidden. I've done that too much in the past and it’s one of the things I've always, always regretted. If love comes along, I wouldn't smother love or pin it down because that would make love choke and slowly grow to loathe me. I wouldn't try to control love and make it a slave to my every whim. I would understand that love has a mind of its own and has its own ways. Love is its own person and will do whatever it wants regardless of what I think. It’s hard, but I guess I’ll just have to trust love enough to know that love won’t leave.

If love comes along, I’d make an effort to get to know love’s friends because they are important people in love’s life.

If love comes along, I wouldn’t count the relationship in months. Counting down months of love is fun, but that’s not all there is to it, right? I wouldn’t want love to be something that peaks on a certain day in a month every month and then lays dormant until the next crest of the wave. I want love to be a slow burn. 

If love comes along, I’d remember that too much of anything is bad, even the good stuff. Wanting to be happy all the time is a denial of problems and wanting the opposite is ignoring all the good that there is. If love comes along, I’d accept the fact that a relationship is not a well-edited montage of romantic scenes like in the movies. There are happy times, fun times, boring times, adventures, lazy days and quiet days, and that’s perfectly okay. Love is staying up all night to watch a movie that only one of the two wants to watch or helping out with an important deadline together.

If love comes along, I would accept love for what it is. I would love love for everything that it is. Love may not play the guitar or draw portraits. Love may not write poetry or make grand gestures. Love may not be that patient when it comes to fights. Love may not be a great dancer or the life of the party. Love may be a wallflower and socially awkward. Love may not be a high powered executive. Love may not be whatever love dreams to be in the future yet. Love may be in the midst of reaching its dreams. Love may not be David Beckham or Brandon Boyd or any long-time crush (I seriously doubt love would come in the form of any of them), but I know that love is who I love, and I will love love as is, imperfections and all. 

If love comes along, I would try to be more patient with love. In the event of a misunderstanding, I would take a deep breath and weed out all the unnecessary and hurtful thoughts that are fighting to come out of my mouth. I would think before I speak and try my best to understand. I’d try to remember that I don’t have to be right all the time and that what is important is that love understands me, too. I know that there will be times that I would have to agree to disagree with love, and that’s okay. 

If love comes along, I would tell love about the things that scare me, amuse me, hurt me, enrage me, and all sorts of combinations of emotions that can spring from me. In the same way, I would listen to love talk to me about love’s fears and visions of the future, of the things love considers beautiful and important. If it’s important to love, I'll at least try to be interested in it.

If love comes along, I’d take care of love. I may not be the best at it...others may be better, but I'll take care of love in the only way I know how. And if love likes the way I take care of love, then, good. If love comes along, I'd let love take care of me, too. We'll take care of each other. Because that's what you do. 

If love comes along, I would wish that person to be happy, with or without me.  

If love comes along, I'd be ready for it. And I'd be prepared to give of myself to love more. 

*The word Love may take on various forms. Throughout this post, love could be described as  a feeling, a relationship, or  a person. I apologize for the ambiguity, I really just wanted to let this out. I hope you understand, nameless reader.

My name is Isa and I am a Sheerio

This is Ed Sheeran. He's British, he's a musician, and he's brilliant. Oh, and he gives his things, i.e. his guitars, names (like me!).

Being a person who loves Ed Sheeran, his music, and his ability to make an entire show with just him, his guitar (Nigel, Lloyd, Felix or Cyril), and his loop station makes you a Sheerio. If you pray to the heavens above for a chance to watch him live, that makes you a Sheerio, too. Welcome to the club! Let us all sing along/swoon/mentally propose marriage to/look at him with shiny eyes filled with love and wonder together.