All I Want For Christmas

It's a little late for a Christmas wishlist, I suppose. But I'm making one anyway.

To me, a Christmas wishlist is a list of things that I want but don't really need. When I make a Christmas list, I pretty much end up writing an array of objects that are too expensive for anyone to buy for another person. So instead of waiting for a miracle to happen and someone outside of my family buys it for me (we're not really big on presents, my family), I just wait until I can afford it and just buy it for myself (like electronic accessories or designer clothes). Kind of sad, but as my mantra goes: if no one will buy it for your, buy it for yourself.

So here's my list of things that I really want but don't need. Some are harder to fulfill than others, but that's okay. That's the point of it being a wishlist.

1. Moleskine 2013 Le Petit Prince Weekly Planner and Notes

I love The Little Prince. It's thought provoking and it taught me a lot about life. I like Moleskines. They look simple, the paper is nice, I can draw on it with pens and the ink doesn't bleed into other pages, and it's easy to bring around. Combining The Little Prince and Moleskine together brings forth a product that I find impossible not to want. I want this. I want this with a passion.

2. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes always make me laugh. I've never been able to read a whole lot of the comic strips, but everytime I read one I always laugh. I can imagine how much fun I'd have if I had the entire collection. I imagine that it would be something that I'd need during a particularly bad day. 

3. Speedball Tabletop Pottery Wheel

Pottery is like everything else you learn to do with your body. If you're out of practice long enough, you're back to square one. I keep going back to square one after a few weeks away from the pottery wheel, so having a tabletop wheel would help me practice more. I can actually see it now. Me leaned over a ball of clay with my hands gripping and molding and digging. Me switching it on when I need to stop thinking about things that I think too much about. Me making something that I'm proud of...

I really want this for Christmas.  

4. Otterbox for Samsung Galaxy SII

Because I want to protect the most expensive phone I bought for the next, say, four years.

5. Ray-Ban Aviator Sunglasses

This has been on my wishlist for about 3 years now. Maybe longer. Because they just look so darn cool. However, there are about a million other pairs of sunglasses that I can buy without burning a hole in my pocket so I've branded this as a want rather than a need. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind receiving a pair.

6. Macbook Pro

We are talking about wishes here. I've always been curious about Macs. Even though I do have a perfectly functional laptop (and thus do not need a Mac), I'm always open to the idea of owning one. Since I can't afford it, I can only wish that one day I get to own one. :)

I don't really believe in Santa. I don't even belong to a culture that believes in Santa. But I've been a really good girl. And if someone would want to be a Santa and fulfill my wishlist, go right ahead. I'm not stoppin' ya. :)

Pottery with John Pettyjohn

The start of the year 2012 was the beginning of my love affair with pottery. I told myself late last year that I wanted to try something new and thanks to my sister who showed me a website for pottery lessons in Manila, I found what I was looking for. I've been fascinated with pottery ever since. There's just something about making things by hand from start to finish. From kneading the clay, centering it and forming the shape on a wheel, and glazing them, making ceramics is a complete process of handmade creation. And there's kind of a therapeutic effect, too. My mind goes blank when I hear the whir of the electric wheel and it's strangely comforting, finding some quiet as I work with my hands. Maybe that's why I like it so much. But that's just me.

My teacher, Mia, has been successfully fanning the flames (that once started as a spark of interest) by taking us students to visit some of the great names in the Philippine pottery circle. Last May, we spent a day in Quezon to visit Ugu Bigyan. We had a wonderful time looking through his work and even got to watch him demonstrate throwing clay on the wheel. We also had a superb lunch that day.

Last weekend, we drove to Calamba, Laguna to visit the renowned potters Jon and Tessy Pettyjohn, the so-called Mom and Pop of Philippine pottery. The experience was a treat and even better than I expected because the couple was so hospitable and generous with their time and knowledge. Despite the fatigue and stress their bodies may have felt because they spent three days firing their works prior to our trip, they opened their home to us and shared all sorts of tips for us eager students. For that alone, I was already in awe.

We officially started out field trip by coming into their gallery and looking at the works they had on display. They were all beautiful and impeccably made, and the textures and glazes were something to sing praises about. I couldn't believe that I was where I was at that moment!

All sorts of colors and shapes were found in the gallery as well as around their home.

 
Some of Tessy's recent works are inspired by nature. In this case, corals. I had a huge question mark hanging over my head when I first saw these pieces. How do you make these?!

 Another piece that's worth special attention: a stoneware guitar! The intricacy of the details is outstanding.

There were so many things to look at, but my favorite ones were these ones here. I love the texture and the colors of the glazes they used.

We talked to the couple for a few minutes before Jon brought us to their studio where all the "magic" happens. There were a lot of things to see in there, as well. There were shelves and tables of unfinished pieces, swatches of glazes hanging over us (Jon said that some of them were over 30 years old!), as well as a giant lump of clay in one corner. We found the Pettyjohns' trusty assistant, Sammy, busily kneading clay in another corner as we picked up, felt and looked at the pottery waiting to be glazed and fired. Jon played tour guide and offered stories for some of the pieces that we found interesting.

Here are some more of Tessy's recent works sans the glazing.
A coral garden!

This one I found especially amusing. A shark that Jon made.
Pretty cool, huh?

Finally, we got to the most awaited moment of the trip, the demonstration. It was evident that people were as excited as I was because the moment Jon started gathering his tools and took a seat in front of his electric wheel, we all gathered around in a tight group to watch, our cameras poised and ready. Watching the forefather of Philippine pottery doing what he does best was amazing.

In a span of an hour, he demonstrated how to make teapot, a tea cup, a giant bowl, a vase and a pitcher. While he was making them, he shared some tips and tricks that we students found useful and helpful. 

Awesome. :)

After the demonstration, Jon took us to higher ground where their wood firing kiln is found. Wood firing kilns are different from those that are fueled by gas because the ash produced in a wood kiln melt into the glaze of the pots which gives them, I think, a more rustic and handmade appearance. The Pettyjohns' wood kiln, like their pottery, was made with their own hands. At the front of the kiln were a bowl of rice grains, some fruit, and a cup of whiskey. All four corners of the kiln also had cups of salt atop it. All of these are offerings to the gods of fire to protect the pots. With the level of uncertainty each firing has, pots can easily crack and explode when exposed to high heat, offerings are surely welcome. Whatever keeps the pots safe!

The tour pretty much ended with the wood firing kiln (which reminds me of a hobbit house for some reason hehe). After showing us where he likes to relax when he's not working (he loves playing billiards, apparently) and showing us a few more of his pieces that he values, two of whic are reserved for his daughters, we spend the rest of the visit eating lunch and just listening to his and Tessy's stories. He suggested that we visit some of the "tourist" spots in Laguna and even went with us to show the places for himself. Nice guy, huh?

I went home that day with a camera full of photos and videos, a tumbler I bought at a discounted price and an experience that I won't soon forget. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday, not bad at all.

Doomsday To-Do List

Let's start this off by pretending that we believe in the Mayan calendar. Now, since we believe in it, we consequently also believe that the end of the world is going to roll around in a month's time. Yup, the day that Incubus sang about is finally here. Please refer to a the lyrics of Incubus's "A Certain Shade of Green" and click on YouTube for the video of "Warning" by the same band. On a side note, I'd like to thank Brandon Boyd for introducing me to the Mayans during high school. You'd have thought that knowing about this day would be an advantage in terms of preparation but alas, here I am just as unprepared as ever. But the songs were inspirational in a Carpe Diem kind of way so that's good.

So. December 21, 2012. The day believed to be doomsday because the calendar belonging to an ancient civilization stopped at that particular date. Cynics had a field day discussing (making fun of) the accuracy of these claims by suggesting that maybe the Mayans just ran out of space on the slab of rock to carve on.

Which makes sense, too. Just because there's no calendar doesn't mean that time doesn't exist. But you can't shake off the feeling that maybe, just maybe, it could happen. Stranger things have happened, right? But anyway that'a not the point of this blog post. The point of this blog post is this: assuming that the world will end on December 21st, what are the top five things that you would do?

If I truly believed, in my heart of hearts, that the world we live in will go kaput in a month's time, here are some things that I could achieve within that time frame. None of those "climb Mt. so and so," this is a month we're talking about here. 

1. Spend time with people that I haven't seen in a long time.  Make an effort to reconnect with people that I haven't really talked to face to face because social media or cellphones have made us lazy to actually talk to someone. Seeing how a person smiles or fidgets or the sound of their laughter is far more welcomed than Skype meetings and choppy phone reception.

2. Go out on a date. If it's going to be my last, I'd want it to be really fun and enjoyable. The type of date you don't want to wrap up because you're having so much fun. That would be really nice. I haven't had one in a while. In my ideal world, I'd have no problem making this certain thing a reality. But this is real life. The only way I'd get a date is if I ask someone out (which I've never done before). And that's no guarantee either. I guess it would be alright...at least the embarrassment that I'd feel and my thoughts of being a loser because of the blatant rejection will be short lived.

3. Quit my job and spend my life savings on going to one or two great places and experience it to the fullest. As in, waldas. Initially I thought about giving my life savings to a charity of my choice, but then I realized that that was something that a person usually does when they die by themselves. Since I'd be dying with everyone and everything else, a charity won't have much use of the money. So I suppose that using my hard earned moolah whichever way I please is perfectly acceptable.

4. Not fight with any of my family. The worse thing that could happen at the end is letting someone you love feel like you don't love them. I know that I wouldn't want that. So I'd try to be more patient and understanding. Most importantly, I'd try to be more present in their lives. Same thing applies to friends.

5. Spend the rest of my days not giving a crap about what others think of me. Not a very easy task to do since I seem to be so apologetic over some things that I do as a person. This might mean that I would have little regard for how my actions will affect other people's thoughts and feelings. It's a little selfish, but some people do it on a daily basis, why can't I?

My five things are probably seem shallow in the eyes of others. And these things won't give me a truly happy and fulfilled life in a span of a month. But honestly, it's near impossible to cram in so much life learning and experiences in a short time. I imagine that yuppies like me would hardly feel some level of peace in their minds over the life that they lived so far. But to me, the things I've listed down are things that could make me feel at ease with things. At least when the world ends, I'd feel good about where I was at that particular time. I may not have found a lasting love, but at least I had a kick-ass date before I died. I may not have a perfect family or had a million friends like the others seem to have, but at least we were together til the end. You catch my drift? At least I'll like my life when I leave it. 

If Love* Comes Along

If love comes along, I wouldn't claim it as an object that were to be possessed and kept hidden. I've done that too much in the past and it’s one of the things I've always, always regretted. If love comes along, I wouldn't smother love or pin it down because that would make love choke and slowly grow to loathe me. I wouldn't try to control love and make it a slave to my every whim. I would understand that love has a mind of its own and has its own ways. Love is its own person and will do whatever it wants regardless of what I think. It’s hard, but I guess I’ll just have to trust love enough to know that love won’t leave.

If love comes along, I’d make an effort to get to know love’s friends because they are important people in love’s life.

If love comes along, I wouldn’t count the relationship in months. Counting down months of love is fun, but that’s not all there is to it, right? I wouldn’t want love to be something that peaks on a certain day in a month every month and then lays dormant until the next crest of the wave. I want love to be a slow burn. 

If love comes along, I’d remember that too much of anything is bad, even the good stuff. Wanting to be happy all the time is a denial of problems and wanting the opposite is ignoring all the good that there is. If love comes along, I’d accept the fact that a relationship is not a well-edited montage of romantic scenes like in the movies. There are happy times, fun times, boring times, adventures, lazy days and quiet days, and that’s perfectly okay. Love is staying up all night to watch a movie that only one of the two wants to watch or helping out with an important deadline together.

If love comes along, I would accept love for what it is. I would love love for everything that it is. Love may not play the guitar or draw portraits. Love may not write poetry or make grand gestures. Love may not be that patient when it comes to fights. Love may not be a great dancer or the life of the party. Love may be a wallflower and socially awkward. Love may not be a high powered executive. Love may not be whatever love dreams to be in the future yet. Love may be in the midst of reaching its dreams. Love may not be David Beckham or Brandon Boyd or any long-time crush (I seriously doubt love would come in the form of any of them), but I know that love is who I love, and I will love love as is, imperfections and all. 

If love comes along, I would try to be more patient with love. In the event of a misunderstanding, I would take a deep breath and weed out all the unnecessary and hurtful thoughts that are fighting to come out of my mouth. I would think before I speak and try my best to understand. I’d try to remember that I don’t have to be right all the time and that what is important is that love understands me, too. I know that there will be times that I would have to agree to disagree with love, and that’s okay. 

If love comes along, I would tell love about the things that scare me, amuse me, hurt me, enrage me, and all sorts of combinations of emotions that can spring from me. In the same way, I would listen to love talk to me about love’s fears and visions of the future, of the things love considers beautiful and important. If it’s important to love, I'll at least try to be interested in it.

If love comes along, I’d take care of love. I may not be the best at it...others may be better, but I'll take care of love in the only way I know how. And if love likes the way I take care of love, then, good. If love comes along, I'd let love take care of me, too. We'll take care of each other. Because that's what you do. 

If love comes along, I would wish that person to be happy, with or without me.  

If love comes along, I'd be ready for it. And I'd be prepared to give of myself to love more. 

*The word Love may take on various forms. Throughout this post, love could be described as  a feeling, a relationship, or  a person. I apologize for the ambiguity, I really just wanted to let this out. I hope you understand, nameless reader.

My name is Isa and I am a Sheerio

This is Ed Sheeran. He's British, he's a musician, and he's brilliant. Oh, and he gives his things, i.e. his guitars, names (like me!).

Being a person who loves Ed Sheeran, his music, and his ability to make an entire show with just him, his guitar (Nigel, Lloyd, Felix or Cyril), and his loop station makes you a Sheerio. If you pray to the heavens above for a chance to watch him live, that makes you a Sheerio, too. Welcome to the club! Let us all sing along/swoon/mentally propose marriage to/look at him with shiny eyes filled with love and wonder together.

Perks

Dear friend,

I watched Perks today. I'm so, so, so glad I did. Really good movies are far and few lately, I think. Anyway, I've been excited about the movie ever since I read the book and saw the trailer. The book made me depressed, honestly. I cried buckets in various chapters of the book (which made me self-conscious because other people who've read the book said that they were inspired and uplifted) and felt a certain heaviness after I finished reading. I kind of expected that I'd be depressed over the movie too but strangely enough, it didn't. The film was...poignant. There's a sadness there that was just too massive for words, but then there was also a kind of happiness that pervaded in the entire film. It was happy and sad. Just like how Charlie said...

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

So here I am being a complete fangirl over Perks. I liked the book, but the movie just made me like Perks even more. Here are some reasons why I actually made a fist pump when the movie finished:

The film's screenplay was written by the novel's author, Stephen Chbosky. The film was also directed by the author. Because the movie was written and directed by the novelist, he had complete control of how the film looked like. He knew each of the characters inside out and he rewrote the novel into a screenplay that had all the important elements that were needed. The book was truly brought to life. I think that's amazing.

I liked the cast. I thought that Logan Lerman was perfect as Charlie. He was so endearingly awkward. I could finally understand why Charlie the wallflower managed to find himself in the midst of friends who love him dearly. Logan is a great actor. I can totally see him win awards in the future. Ezra Miller was amazing as Patrick, I can't imagine anyone else who could play that sassy character. It fit him like a glove. I also liked Mae Whitman, who played Mary Elizabeth. I never thought much of the character she played while I was reading the book but in the movie she had so much more personality and was one of the sources of humor in the film. Finally, I liked Emma Watson as Sam. I think her acting has vastly improved and has veered far, far away from Hermione Granger. She was able to fulfill the idea of Sam, which from Charlie's perspective, was far from perfect but perfect nonetheless. I'm so glad the cast were good actors.

I liked that it made me cry. Weird, I suppose, but true. I guess I can relate to all the characters in different ways.

I liked the ending scene. I loved the last bit of script with Charlie talking. The way it was written....ugh, it was perfect. It kind of made you feel infinite, even though you're just confined in your seat.

After all the blabbering I've done, the point I'm trying to get at is that Perks is a movie that I'm glad exists. I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of it so I can watch it anytime I want. I guess that's all I really want to say.

Love always,

Isa

30 before 30

I saw this in my friend's blog and decided to follow in her footsteps. She actually posted this topic a while back and I've been struggling to complete my own thirty things since I read hers. Making a list like this is harder than I thought because it's not a bucket list. It is, kind of, but not really because you don't really want to "kick the bucket" at thirty. I'm rambling again. Anyway, enough chatter. Here it is, in no particular order:

1. Learn how to cook real food
2. Live on my own
3. Travel to different Asian countries (Europe seems like a distant dream right now. Maybe after 30?)
4. Swim with dolphins and/or whalesharks
5. Make someone happier
6. Fulfill a wish
7. Learn how to fix a car
8. Have a byline in a widely-read publication (at least once!)
9. Write a script
10. Eat authentic pho, ramen, bibimbap, satay, curry, and other delicious Asian cuisine (when I do #3)
11. Learn how to scuba dive
12. Be a proper surfer and catch my own wave
13. See a real, live panda bear
14. Learn a dance genre well
15. Teach someone a skill that I know
16. Learn a skill well enough that I can teach someone else
17. Travel alone?
18. Try starting a business
19. Get a promotion
20. Be good at yoga
21. Bungee jump
22. Learn to read music
23. Be able to sufficiently play an instrument (meaning, beyond the basics)
24. Dye my hair (or some part of my hair) blue/pink/purple
25. Re-learn how to drive a stick shift
26. Climb a mountain
27. Watch UAAP Cheerdance Competition live
28. Get a master's degree
29. Learn more about photography
30. Learn some basic self-defense moves

happy place thoughts

I'm slightly intoxicated. I can feel it in my toes, which means that I'm in my happy place. Thought it is a great state to be in, being intoxicated, I still would rather be intoxicated in other ways.

My friend is in the throes of a different kind of intoxication. The kind of intoxication that comes from another person. You know...the relationshippy kind. I don't know if anyone else have felt that kind of feeling...the moments when you feel ten times better about yourself and you think that anything you do is better because this one person thinks you're a million bucks. You feel great, needless to say and you get this boost of confidence that comes from nowhere in particular. You get some sort of strength from that.  I haven't felt like that in a while.

So here I am slightly intoxicated and thinking about love.

Love...it's not something that can really be talked about simply because it can't really be defined in the same way. It eludes me. But even though it eludes me I still have some thoughts about it. Being without it makes you think about it, apparently.

Love...it's a gift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an effing cliche. But they don't become cliches for no reason. It's a gift because it's something that you don't come across everyday. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides that they'll fall in love...they just sort of do it...I guess. It just happens. In fact, it's more than a gift. It's a privilege. A few years back, I never thought that about love that way. In my mind, I wanted an "epic" kind of love. You  know, the kind of love that has so much obstacles and hardships and fights that you just have so much to deal with. Blame it on television shows. I my mind just had the idea that if we had more hardships we'd appreciate each other more.  But I realized that it's not that way. Somehow, for the better part of my life, I had some skewed, fairy tale outlook on what love is. Love isn't about falling in love with each other at first sight, it's about truly seeing a person and deciding not to look away. It's not about the mushy, chasing-each=-other-around-the-park-while-laughing stuff that makes up a relationship, it's about staying when everything is all fucked up. It's not about needing someone, it's about wanting and choosing to want someone to be there. Anyone can feel love...but not everyone can choose to love, I think.

My toes are numb. Goodnight.

Isa Dreams of Sushi, too.

There's a documentary I watched recently that I can't seem to shut up about. Take a look at the trailer and see why the question as to whether or not I'd like the film was a resounding "uh, duh."

Jiro Dreams Of Sushi is a documentary that places a spotlight on sushi and the master who makes them, 85-year-old Jiro Ono. I knew I had to watch this documentary the moment I saw the trailer because one, the documentary features the only sushi chef to be awarded 3 Michelin stars, and two, I love sushi. Sushi is a beautiful, beautiful thing! If there are other movies or videos that show high definition images of sushi, I'm all for it.

The documentary focuses on Jiro, his 10-seat hole in the wall, 30,000 yen a plate restaurant at the Ginza metro station, his two sons and his legacy to each of his shokunin and to the sushi-eating world.

The film is food porn, a fact that made my sushi-loving heart soar. The 1 hour 20 minute minute film had a rich source of what I'd call sushi montage. Various images of ingredients being sliced, charred, flipped, massaged and finally put together under the graceful hands of Jiro all come together to present the final image; a single piece of sushi placed carefully atop a shiny black rectangular plate, ready to be enjoyed.

It's beautiful, it's artful, it made me hungry.

Aside from the breathtaking imagery, the film is able to impart nuggets of wisdom through the voice of Jiro, who has strong opinions regarding discipline, work ethic and the journey towards perfection.

Opinions and statements like this:

One thing I also liked about the film was that it gave foreign eyes like mine a glimpse of the market, where Jiro's son visits everyday to buy a day's worth of seafood. I like the idea that there are specialists for each kind of seafood, which in turn guarantees quality. The Japanese take quality really seriously, apparently. I also liked that the film touched on the issue of the depleting tuna population. Jiro and his shokunin are in a business that relies heavily on the gifts of the sea, and it is for that same reason that they put importance in its sustainability for the next generation.

The film, in my opinion, drives a simple point: Jiro is the best because he loves what he does. Everything else, his role as father (he was rarely home), chef (he has three Michelin stars), and teacher (his apprentices went on to have their own restaurants), as well as his constant need to better himself are after effects of this one point. It's inspiring.

If it's not obvious already, I liked the movie. It made me want to be in Japan and take a place in one of his seats. It made me dream of sushi, but in a different way. Unfortunately, this dream is a bit far-fetched. Ticket to Japan + 30,000 yen + expenses that will let me live = Bankruptcy! So I'll just resign myself to just reading about the whole infamous Jiro experience here.

But I'll keep dreaming about sushi, anyway. :)

5 Things You Can Think About Instead Of Your Non-Existent Lovelife

Good choice, man. 

Higher Education. Nothing can take away every bad thought about dying alone as a cat lady better than a thick pile of reading materials and pending papers and reports. Think about pursuing a post-collegiate education. Or at the very least, ponder on the idea of pursuing it. Is that really what you want regardless of whether or not everyone else seems to be going back to school? Can you handle a full-time job and school at the same time? Going back to school may mean less time for everything else that's going on in your life. But on the up side, getting another degree can land you a better job 2-3 years from now. Think about it.

Business Ventures. If you can't have success in the love department, pine for financial success instead. Money may not buy you happiness (in the truest sense of the word), but it sure can buy a crapload of distractions. There's nothing wrong with wanting to add some hard-earned cash into your bank account. The more, the money-er! But let's not discount that having a business is a great learning experience, too.

Hobbies. Everybody needs something that they enjoy doing. Otherwise, the world would be a bleak, boring, meaningless life. That's where hobbies come it. They must serve as bearers of sunshine and fun and meaning. Whether it be something fun and dynamic like Ultimate Frisbee or something more subdued like baking cookies, or sitting down to a good book, what's important about having a hobby is that you like it. Think about the things that you like to do and imagine what you'd like to do with that in the years to come. Who knows? Maybe that hobby could turn out to be a lifelong passion.

Your Job. An important thing that you should think about to begin with since, well, it keeps you alive. But consider why it's an important thing to think about. What was it that Lady Gaga said about a career?

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."

Thank you, Lady Gaga. Point taken. For some people (like me), thinking about a successful career is more difficult and nerve-wracking than anything else, which is probably an even better reason why you should spend more time using your brainwaves for that.

Your friends' love lives. If you can't have your own love life, live vicariously through theirs. Most likely, if they're not sharing their lovey dovey evening plans with you, they're asking you advice about disagreements they've had with their significant other. That will probably be the only time you'll feel good that you're single because you don't have to deal with the drama. But you can generously lend an ear and offer words of wisdom (that you've carefully thought about, of course).

Spice Girls: Viva Forever!

I recently watched the closing ceremony of the Olympics in London (I missed the thing entirely!) and felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me when I saw the Spice Girls perform their most popular songs. 

I am a Spice Girls baby. I loved the Spice Girls the first time I saw the "Wannabe" music video and the rest was a history filled with their albums being played on loop in our car on the way to school every morning. I embraced the crazy outfits, the sky high platform shoes, Scary's tongue ring, Sporty's back handspring, the different personas, I loved it all. I sang their songs constantly (I only found out later on that "2 become 1" was a really sexy song! I sang that song without knowing what it was about!) and memorized the dance from their "Stop" video. Oh, and I remember watching the Spice World movie with my siblings when it came out.

Who didn't love these girls, honestly?












Back then, my favorite Spice Girl was Baby because she was cute and girly and the youngest. And for a little kid like me, she was probably the most accessible because of that. But now, years later, I find myself favoring the one I didn't care most about when I was a child: Posh. The reason why I favor her now might have something to do with the fact that he's married to David Beckham and that they have a successful marriage by Hollywood standards, but I also like her because she managed to make something of herself after her days of being a Spice Girl  wrapped up. She probably didn't want to rest on her laurels and live the rest of her days being known as a person that she was for only a small period of time, which is admirable, I think.

But I'm getting off tangent here. The Spice Girls! Watching them perform again after their break up  over a decade ago and a brief reunion in 2007 was something that made me feel like I was a little kid again. It even prompted me to look for their old albums so I can play them back whenever I wanted. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I could still sing along to "Wannabe" and "Spice World" and was pleased that the girls looked better than ever. Is it weird that I'm happy for a group of strangers?

It's nice to know that even though the years have brought on so many changes since they hung up their clogs, their music still causes 20-something people like me to feel the giddy excitement we used to feel years ago. That goes for any musician who've made an impact in the music world, really.

Long live the Spice Girls! They will forever have a place in my beating 90's pop loving heart.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

It's the middle of the night and the rain still hasn't let up. It's been days and it's raining like there's no tomorrow. For some, it seems like there really is no tomorrow. For some, tomorrow is gone. According to news reports, many people have died because of these torrential rains and the consequent floods. The worst part about it is that it's still happening. It's still raining, and there's nothing man can do to stop it.

It's frustrating to know that whenever the view of the outside shows a slight bit of peace, a fresh wave of rain is just tailing behind to add more to the chaos. One literally feels powerless against nature, especially if you're the one grappling with it firsthand.

I wish the rains would stop. I wish the floods would stop rising. I wish that the reports about homes being washed away, about people getting stranded, about people drowning would stop being true.

Whoever is reading this, if this gets read at all, please pray for the rains to stop. Please pray for the safety of the people who have become victims of something infinitely bigger than any of us. It might not be much for some of you, praying, but in times of crisis it could be the only thing that saves.

Perfect for a Rainy Day

The rainy season has made a comeback in this side of the world. And while citizens from the Americas are still soaking up the sun in their little bikinis, we're trudging through rain soaked (or flooded) streets to get to work or school. I think all of us are hoping that the storms that are about to pass through are nothing like Typhoon Ondoy. That's an experience we'd rather be without.

But let's not dwell on the dreary aspects of the rainy season. Rain clouds are dreary enough for all of us. Instead, let's talk about something that I find cheers everybody up whenever it's brought up: food!

Rainy days usually remind me of one thing: Champorado. Watching the heavy downpour from the window and hearing the quick rush of the wind through the trees always makes me think of how rainy days were back where I grew up. It's grown to be my kind of comfort food. It's the food I can't help remembering during cold days when the sky is grey and there's nothing else to do but wait for the rain to pass.

Champorado, according to the not-all-that-reliable Wikipedia, is a chocolate rice porridge. It's warm, it's chocolatey, it's gooey, and it's delicious. With a dash of milk and a teaspoon of sugar mixed in, my taste buds are ready to rock and roll.

Best eaten with Tuyo, in my opinion. There's something about the contrasting flavors of the sweet chocolate and the salty dried fish that just seem to go together, I really can't explain it. I have a special way of eating this combo, too. Developed through years of practice, of course. A lot of people have their own methods of partaking of this delectable treat, but I think mine is the best. And it comes in three easy steps!

Step 1. Scrape off the scales of the Tuyo and pick apart into little bits.

Step 2. Drop the little pieces into the Champorado.

Step 3. Mix the Champorado and watch the little pieces disappear. 

And eat! The eating becomes more exciting because you never really know if you've gotten a bite of Tuyo until you've tasted the salty surprise. Awesome, right? 

Champorado is awesome all on its own, but what makes it such an amazing snack for me is the warm, fuzzy feeling it brings with every bowl. 

How about you? What's your favorite comfort food?

Q&A a day

One of my better impulse buys, I think. Fully Booked is proving to be one of those dangerous places for the wallet. Well, at least for me.

Anyway, I bought this Q&A a day 5-year journal today and I'd like to think it was destiny, me finding this little treasure of a journal, because I knew I wanted it the moment my eyes clapped onto it. This journal can be completely filled up in a span of 5 years. How, you might ask? Each day features a unique question that you can answer. There are five blank spaces where you can write your answers for that particular question. Five blank spaces for one question a year. Bam! A 5-year journal.

It's an amazing concept, really. You can literally see the changes in the way you think or react by the answers you write. Just imagine, as the years go by, you can see how your answer to the same question transforms (or not) from one year to the next. Pretty cool, huh? I'm a healthy mix of excitement and apprehension over the questions that could be asked. I'm trying not to look at the questions so I can answer them truthfully on the proper day. Yes, I'm taking this seriously.

Check it out and see if it intrigues you as it did me. :)

How I'd Live If I Lived Alone

I've never had an opportunity to truly live by myself. My parents have made living at home far too comfortable that I never really had a need to live away from home for more than weeks at a time. The only time I did live away from home was during college and I was under the eyes of my mother's sister, who lived near my school. I take that back, my sister and I lived at my aunt's so I don't think that counts as "living alone" since I was with my sister. But anyway, sister or no sister, those years were fun. It was in those years of living with my aunt for most of my schooling that I felt the freedom of being able to go out and not have someone asking what time I'd be home and of being able to do some things the way I wanted to. I guess that's why I always seem to be thinking about living alone. I miss that little freedom that I felt when I went to college. I figured, if I felt that way under adult supervision, how much more if I really was living all by myself? So here are the things I imagine I'd be doing if I lived alone. Cue harp music, blur, pan up to the heavens…and go.


I’d be a great cook. Here's the scenario. I have a few friends over in my apartment for a semi-regular movie night. While they're poring over a movie, I'd be in my little kitchen cooking up something delicious that they'd all be raving about once they've tasted the first bite. Beyond the semi-regular movie night, I'd be cooking meals for myself and for anyone who visits me and I would love it. I'd cook bacon and eggs and French toast for breakfast, and learn how to make lasagna (my childhood favorite) and sinigang and kare-kare, and practice baking cookies and brownies and pies for dessert. I'd have a growing collection of recipes and though it would be a struggle to learn how to cook by myself, I'd be surprised and delighted to find that I am actually succeeding. But if that doesn't happen, I could always live on instant pancit canton and Ramen noodles. Oh, and Ma Ling. 

My dinner guests will be like Dora's backpack. 

Omnomnomnomnom. Delicioso!

I'd sit in the living room with utility bills and a calculator. Because I'm not good at math, I'll probably be spending an hour or two of my weekend figuring out how to adjust my budget to accommodate the rent, food, electricity, water, internet, and all kinds of bills. I'd also contemplate on getting a part-time job so I could afford to buy stuff that I want, like shoes or the occasional electronic device and plane tickets.

I would definitely be making emergency runs to the grocery because I keep forgetting to keep track of the food in the fridge. Or the toilet paper. Or shampoo when shampoo bubbles just won't do (putting water in the bottle more than twice will only yield slightly soapy water, I know that for a fact!) and other important items in a home that one absolutely cannot live without. These grocery runs will happen regularly because I have yet to master the art of inventory.

I'd be scared out of my wits due to the fact that I am living alone. There will be nights when I will suddenly realize that I am a sitting duck, completely vulnerable to dangers both internal and external. I will worry about robbers, rapists, murderers, swindlers, ghosts, bangungot, accidents, and other situations that cannot be dealt with alone. What if I choke on my own deliciously baked lasagna/pancit canton? Can you do a Heimlich maneuver on yourself? To somehow make me feel like I've found a remedy to this problem, I'd probably buy myself a cute puppy to act as my playmate/companion/guard puppy.

Hello, emo puppy. Would you like to live with me? 

I'd prefer the apartment to be like the homes of the Koreans I see on TV, where everything is near the floor which, more often than not, is spic and span. I'd keep a tiny broom and dustpan handy to keep my space as tidy as I can. Wait, who am I kidding here? I live in creative chaos. Rewind. I'd keep a tiny broom and dustpan handy so I can keep the space from being too...unruly. I'd also have a desk where my laptop and all other hobby things are stationed. The closet, however, is an entirely different story.

I'd ask someone carry a spare key on their person at all times in case of emergencies. Someone I know who would be there if I found myself locked out of my own place. Probably my sister because it's impossible for me not to even consider her. If I had a boyfriend, I'd probably ask him to do that, too. The bottom line is that there will be times when I will be locked out of my own home even though I know that that's a stupid thing to do. I need people to look beyond the stupidity and just help me out when I need it.

I'd keep beer in the fridge. You never know when you'll need 'em, really. In good times or in bad, there's always a reason to chug down a chilly can of beer. YES.

Golden gift from God! Get in my belly! 

I'd probably walk around in my underwear. Because I can. I don't need to explain myself further. My place, my rules. Walang basagan ng trip, k?

I'd dream about the things I’d decorate my place with. There are already pictures of bookcases, chairs, utensils, hammocks, and desks that I've reblogged in my Tumblr account for future reference. At the rate I'm going, my apartment will probably be filled with objects and furniture that are unique and interesting on their own but have absolutely nothing to do with each other. I imagine that it will be an eclectic mix of cute little trinkets and I'd be perfectly happy with them. 

I'd be sad and miss the feeling of being comfortable at home where everything is free and everyone is familiar. But I will remember that there is a different kind of free that I yearn for and that will make me feel better until the next time I miss everything all over again.

Every family is a little messed up in one way or another. 

But they're still family. 

All of the things I mentioned are rather...idealistic, so I don't really expect that living on my own will turn out the way I'd just described it. I probably sound like a teenager, don't I? Gushing about living on my own when some people would much rather live with their families. Most people probably think that I don't need to live away from home to be able to do some of the things I just described. And they're right, I don't have to. I guess the defining factor between doing these things at home and away from home is that I'd be dealing with everything by myself, and that I have no choice but to deal with things by myself. That thought alone is daunting, especially for a bunso like me who's always had kuyas and an ate to call when things got tough. But there's no harm in imagining a life where I'm self sufficient and strong, right? There's really no harm in day dreaming.

How To Induce a Quarter Life Crisis*

Step 1.

Log in to Facebook or any social media site that allows a person to present chosen aspects of their lives to the world.

Step 2.

Scroll through all the updates your Facebook friends post. Notice one long lost Facebook-friend -you've-never-contacted-before's photos showing him or her delivering babies or climbing the top of the country's highest mountain or posing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Step 3.

Be amazed at what he or she has accomplished. Proceed to look through his or her Facebook timeline and photo albums. Kids nowadays call this “stalking.”

Step 4.

Take eyes of your computer monitor and look around you. Take in the contrast between your life and his or her life. Feel the insecurity creep in.

Step 5.

Start to panic and question what you've been doing for the past few years since you've been out of college. You've been to college! What are you doing with your life?! Why are you not delivering babies (or having babies, even!) or climbing a mountain or posing in front of the Eiffel Tower?! You could do all of that, why aren't you?!

PHOTO TAKEN FROM HERE. 

Step 6.

Begin to feel sorry for yourself and your lack of success and cluelessness about where you're going in life. Start to forget about all the things you have accomplished. Start hating your house, your relationships, your stifling work cubicle, your lame-ass future travel plans because you know that these will never amount to anything compared to what they have. Whoever they are. 

Step 7.

Mope for a few days. Start thinking about what you want to do differently and vow to make changes in your life from this day onwards. Or get distracted by life’s other problems (like work, rent, utility bills, groceries, family, your Tumblr addiction, the list goes on and on…) until the next panic-inducing Facebook visit.

Step 8.

Repeat Steps 1 through 7. 

*Quarter Life Crisis may be induced through other means as well, such as meditation, reflection and living through daily activities that do not satisfy you personally or professionally. 

What To Do When You Miss Someone

It hits you like the school bus hit Regina George on Mean Girls. It’s quick, it’s unexpected, but it gets the job done. That is, to shake things up a bit. It could happen on a quiet morning as you read the newspaper or on a dim, rainy afternoon. It could happen while you’re reveling the view on the highest peak, literally feeling like the ruler of the world or while you're puking your guts out on a sidewalk somewhere because you drank too much again. You could be at your best or at your worst. Either way, your brain doesn't choose when you'll think, ''I wish s/he were here right now.'' But you realize that they're not, so for a minute or two your heart sinks a little knowing that some people are just not going to be there at a snap of a finger or a press of a button. So there you are, in the middle of a work day, a party, or all alone browsing through your Facebook, sideswiped by nostalgia and you don't know what to do with it.

Missing people is not a very pleasant experience. I'm not talking about how you’d write 'I miss you! LOL!'' on someone's Facebook timeline because you haven't seen each other in months. I mean it as a time when you really miss a person who's been a huge part of your life and they're not anymore. It's when you miss a person because of who they are and what they mean to you; that kind of missing. 

If there was a way to describe it, I'd say that it's a bit like having some part of you tugged incessantly at periods at a time that can't be easily shaken off. It’s like that leak on the ceiling that you always forget to fix until it’s already raining and a puddle of water is on the floor. It's kind of like that. And it is when you feel the pangs of longing to be in the company of someone that you entertain the possibility that maybe you've always been missing them and that a single word, laugh, quirk or slip of the tongue was all it took to feel everything. You'd think, why bother missing them when you could just go out and see them? Well, sometimes it's not that easy. There are just some people that you can't/shouldn't just go out and see. These are the people that have left your life. Intentionally or not, it doesn’t really matter. And so, without the means to dispel the little ''itch'' to see or speak to someone, what does one do?  What do you do when you miss someone who passed away/left you/drifted away/moved away/stopped calling/unfriended/doesn't miss you?

I guess the best answer is to just give in to the feeling and miss them. There's no point in resisting the urge to feel sad about someone when it'll just end up coming back after x number of weeks/months/years. Think of it as a gift to that other person, him/her being in your thoughts and missing them. It's not fair, of course, that you give them much thought and it's not reciprocated, but there's really nothing you can do about that part. You miss who you miss regardless of whether or not they miss you back. You can cry about it, if you want. You can visit where they are, in vast lands of greenery and marble. If you're brave enough, you can call old friends who, for a while, became people who knew everything about you to catch up on old times. Or you can simply say the three words without audience and hope that the winds take them across cities, landscapes, seas and maybe even beyond the clouds to send the message to its intended recipients.

Breathe in.

I miss you.

Breathe out.

Back to the real world.

Why Being Cup Size A is A-Okay

It’s not an uncommon occurrence for me to feel a teensy-weensy bit jealous of a curvy girl when I see one because of one main thing: boobs. No, I don’t want them in the way hot-blooded men want breasts. I actually want to have them. Because I have none.

I’ve spend many years feeling frustrated because my so-called “normal body parts” never seemed to fully arrive while all the other girls’ did and more. Imagine being a teenager and  unable to properly fill out your clothes the way you want them to! It’s a tragedy! Sadly, my signs of fertility and womanhood were small signs, and they remain to be small to this day. It actually makes me want to chant “I must, I must increase my bust!” while doing the exercise my mother taught me right now. Unfortunately, the die is cast. But instead of griping about my lack of, uh, lady lumps every time I look at the mirror (I keep it down to a few times every few months now), I’ve decided to practice a little act of self-love and embrace my little girls by thinking of reasons why being a cup size A isn’t so bad. Surprisingly, there were a lot more than I thought, which is a good thing.

BRALESS UNLIMITED! For small girls, you can easily skip out on wearing a bra and, more likely than not, people wouldn’t notice. Who cares if you’re without a bra while wearing that sundress? Being small in the boob department gives you that freedom without looking like you have sandbags going wild inside your shirt as you walk.

RUN LIKE THE WIND. Nope, no dead weight bouncing around and holding you down. As the rules of physics state, “What goes up must come down.” Since there’s not much going up…you get the picture. In fact, wasn’t it said that the heavier the object, the quicker the fall? Ouch! So sprint on, sister! Plus, movement is free! Perfect for kitikiti me!

HUNCHBACK OF NONE-TRE DAME. One perk of being small is a strain-free back. With your rack weighing next to nothing compared to all the other girls, you can go about your daily life never knowing the pains of a back carrying heavy weight. Having big boobs is like being a turtle, only reverse. And you don’t live in your boobs.

FASHION FREEDOM. The good thing about being on the smaller side is that you can wear practically anything and not look like you’ve stepped out of a Playboy centerfold. Unless, you know, that’s what you’re aiming for. But anyway, low cut shirts make a snug home for your girls as opposed to double D’s that look like they want to jump out of a chokehold and scream a la William Wallace in Braveheart. “Freedooooom!”

THE APPLES DON’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE. The apples being your boobs and the tree being your body. Just to be clear on the analogy. Right. Yay for minimal boob saggage (yay for making up words)! Unlike our gifted sisters, your boobs won’t slowly migrate to the equator when the time for retirement comes around, which means that you have slim to none chances of throwing your breasts over your shoulder when you become a lovable lola. I might be exaggerating just a bit. But it could happen, just saying.

MY EYES ARE ON MY FACE. Like, for real. When people talk to me, their eyes will be on my eyes instead of sinking to my chest because, guess what? I don’t really have one! Girls like me won’t have to experience the whole clichéd “Boy, my eyes are up here” moment, which can be read by some women as rude and objectifying. I’d say that in my case, if they were looking down there intently, they might just be trying to locate where my boobs are. Like hidden treasure! Ooooh.

The point, sisters in booblessness, is that belonging to the smallest cup size in the lingerie department isn’t all that bad. You won’t think that when you watch the Victoria’s Secret fashion show when leggy models sport cleavages that are popped up to the maximum and look like goddesses, of course. (How can they be that skinny and have big boobs, anyway?) But the rest of the time, try to remember the benefits of having your pair smaller than the rest. It will do you some good. Not to mention save you from getting an expensive boob job that you may or may not regret.

Stay proud. Stay perky. Because your boobs will. 

Hola